How To Respond To A Controlling Pastor

I have written a good deal recently about controlling leadership. Every bit well-nigh of my posts practise, this stems from current or past experience in leadership. Inside the past 6 months, I take talked with close to a dozen individuals in ministry or business who are experiencing this type of leader. It is affecting their personal leadership, as well as the health of their arrangement.

My theory is that one reason this tension is increasing is due to young leaders who want a voice at the table early in their leadership intersecting with seasoned leaders trying to hold on to power. Peradventure I'll write more about that in another postal service.

The obvious near frequent question I receive as a consequence of these posts involves what to exercise about a controlling leader? I previously wrote a post nigh "leading upward" called 5 Ways to Influence Those Who Atomic number 82 Yous , merely it addresses a leader who may non be giving you a seat at the tabular array but not i who is necessarily a controlling leader. Controlling leadership appears to be a more difficult issue. A leader who attempts to control everything within his or her realm is much harder to influence.

And then here'southward my best answer. Here are three means to respond to a controlling leader:

Claiming – Like information technology or not, well-nigh complex issues such as this do not disappear on their own. Ask yourself, "Will I exist content if this environment continues for the next year or longer?" If the answer is no, then you may have to challenge the controlling leadership. It should be noted that y'all tin't challenge anyone daily. A challenge should be planned, considerate, and infrequent, but there are times where this is the best option.

Compromise – Most controlling leaders have areas in which they are willing to compromise. Much of his or her willingness to do so will be based on the degree of trust placed in others or how important an consequence is to them personally. Building a relationship of trust and seeking common ground on bug allows some people to excel under a controlling leader.

Quit – If one is non willing to challenge the upshot or can find no areas for compromise, the merely solution, other than remaining miserable under controlling leadership, is to seek opportunities elsewhere. I had someone challenge me on Twitter recently that winners never quit, but I disagree. If you were placed in a position past a call of God, this may not be an option until God releases you, and I personally would endeavour the first two options before considering this option, but sometimes the best thing for the individual and the organization is to brand a fresh outset. (Yous might read my mail 8 Ways to Know It'southward Time to Quit .)

Allow me offer this closing reminder: Every situation is unique, so no post can respond your specific situation. I thing that all situations share, however, is that regardless of how one responds, each of united states of america has an obligation to be apprehensive, kind, gracious people. In any of these 3 steps, we should comport too. Also, retrieve that your response to a controlling leader oftentimes determines his or her response. Momma always said, "You'll grab more flies with dear than with vinegar." The Bible says it another way…" A gentle answer turns away wrath, just a harsh word stirs upward anger." (Proverbs 15:1)

Accept you e'er worked with or for a controlling leader? How did you respond? What steps am I missing? Help us learn from your experience.